Live life to the fullest, and focus on the positive.
INFORMATION FROM THE CANCER CONTROL SOCIETY CONVENTION OF 2017 – INTERNATIONAL TREATMENTS
Good day Thursday,
The other day as Dan and I were doing Tai Chi to Dr. Keith Jeffery’s video, one of the movements he said to focus on what you want. So, what is FOCUS! Focus is a skill that allows us to take action without procrastination and to maintain our attention and effort until our goals are accomplished.
In the midst of distractions and challenges, focus allows us to pay attention and to sustain the effort and energy needed to hit our targets and accomplish our goals and dreams.
By being more focused, we can improve our clarity, pay attention to what matters most, make better decisions and become more effective in whatever we do.
Although we live in a noisy world, we can learn to improve focus and boost our concentration.
Clearing the noise in your environment, having a plan to follow, creating a reward for completion of your tasks, creating routine, and working methodically are some things you can do to improve your focus.
“Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.”- Alexander Graham Bell
Today I’m going to start blogging on INFORMATION FROM THE CANCER CONTROL SOCIETY CONVENTION OF 2017 – INTERNATIONAL TREATMENTS. The first hurdle is to recognize that you are not alone, when you are told you have the BIG C. The whole family is affected by this illness.
In addition to my own disbelief and wonder; my husband and daughter attempted to come with their own feelings. I tried to let them know I accepted it and it was all right, but it became clear that even though I was the one with cancer, our entire unit would be changed by this. We decided to confront the disease as a family. As a unit we committed ourselves to a positive outcome, believing we would survive this challenge united. After going through the journey with me from the beginning, I wondered what my daughter might be feeling and asked her if she would consider sharing her thoughts for others so as they may learn and gain strength. Next is a representation of her experience in attempting to live with the idea that my life was threatened by this terrible illness.
Wealth, what is it? Many of us are wealthy in numerous ways, money being one of course, but there are various other ways also. Although, we sometimes do not recognize the wealth you may truly have. Enjoy the wealth you already have in your family, your friends, your health, your freedom, in your knowledge and most importantly in yourself.
THOUGHTS ABOUT MY MOM
By: Danielle Malin
Written in 2011
There is a drug store on 7th Ave in New York City with a huge sign that reads “Health is Wealth”. I keep meaning to snap a picture. After all, money can get you only so far.
Three months ago, I returned to Tampa, Florida thinking I was preparing for my next move to New York. They say that you don’t know how to handle something until it happens to you. Sometimes it can alter your entire life. In this case, it altered many lives.
In my mom’s words via her blog.
It was Tuesday, like all the rest of the days; we got up and had coffee while watching Dr. Oz.
Since Dan’s heart attack three years ago, we have been on a health kick. We do not have red meat except maybe once in a while. We eat a lot of fruits and salad greens and instead of ice cream we get yogurt. We were very into keeping ourselves healthy. It was time to get ready for the drive to the doctor’s office to follow up on a previous visit I’d had because of a lump which had been discovered in my right breast. Both Dan and I had some questions to ask and off we went.
He drove to the office and of course before the doctor saw me, they called me up to the front and asked for my co-pay. After paying I sat down and waited with my word search book and Dan read a sports magazine.
Something told me to glance up. The door opened and my name was called. Dan and I followed the nurse into the little room where the doctor comes in to examine patients. This time all that would be done was the exchange of a few brief words. I got the routine check-up of my weight, temperature, blood pressure and pulse. After the nurse asked some questions like did, I take any medicine or did I have any symptoms since a prior visit, she told us that the doctor would be in soon and left. Dan and I started a conversation regarding the issue at hand and after a few minutes there was a knock on the door, it was the doc. He greeted us like he always did, exchanging small talk regarding personal thoughts.
Suddenly the mood changed and then the doctor became very serious. He abruptly stated in a candid and somewhat impassioned way “This is not something that we can wait on.”
I advised him that I had some concerns and would like to go over them. The first concern was when they do the biopsy, if the masses were cancerous while they got the sample could it get launched with in my breast? He replied, “No; there is a tube that goes through and the sample will remain within the tube.” Okay, that sounded good for it would not spread that way. The other concern was what would happen later. “Well, Sherry”, he said, “you know the next step!
I know a surgeon and he is one of the best in the area”.
I replied to the doctor while looking at Dan, “You know that this is not what I had in mind.”
I do not believe in the whole thing, surgery and chemo, but he reminded me of all the people that have made it through.
I have been in the medical field for over thirty years and seen several cancer patients and even my own family go through hell and the end result was not good. All Dan could say was, “I do not want her to die.” He will do whatever it takes to make me better. We left the office with a script and disbelief that this is happening to us. We had been focusing on his surgery, for it was coming up on the 15th and our daughter, Danielle, was coming home on the 9th to be with me for that event.
Dan had suffered a gunshot wound when he was young and as time went on his left foot became arthritic and required surgery.
FROM THIS DAY ON🚂
After the doctor’s office I went down to the outpatient X-ray department to schedule my biopsy and ended up with the 9th, the day my daughter was coming in from California and we were picking her up in Orlando. My daughter was not aware of my condition until the next day. I felt it best not to say anything until we had a quiet moment together.
Going back to how I felt about my mother’s cancer….
When my family and I found out my mother had been diagnosed with stage two breast cancer, we were speechless. We were getting ready to go out to dinner to celebrate my 24th birthday. The phone call was placed on speaker and we all heard the doctor at the same time. Later while I was in the room, Mom came in to ask if I was ready to go, with a smile on her face. I was sitting on the floor and grabbed hold of her leg and just broke down. To put into words any form of emotions would be impossible. The story however is one of belief, determination and love that you may not agree with, but which you may understand.
In a matter of days, we went to the bookstore, searched the internet and reached out to people we knew. My mom looked at books, including Knockout by Suzanne Somers, she read about cancer diets and called friends, my dad was roaming the internet in search of alternative medicine and international options. I reached out to people whom I knew, friends outside of the country, that I had met while in Los Angeles who had knowledge of or experience with cancer. I cleared out the kitchen, I wrote down a shopping list based on diets listed for patients and we started from scratch.
During this time when all of this was happening, I didn’t know how to handle it. I looked for answers or just comfort from friends. I watched my mom as she smiled. I had never paid as much attention in how strong a person she was until this moment. I looked at my father. They have been together for thirty years. I remember a moment when my dad said to me, he had not been able to sleep. He said that when one of them was hurting, it hurt both of them, as if they were connected.
It was heartbreaking. I had always looked at my parents as an inspiration in their relationship. Independently they are very different and strong, but together they are a force, growing together.
My dad kept saying how strong my mom was and that I needed to be strong for her as well.
I started to pray, I know it’s awful that I had stopped praying over the past years, I guess I had lost focus on belief. Now more than ever I believed that prayer could help. There was a moment in the car with my mom when she told me I was her strength. I think it was the hardest conversation I had ever had with anyone. Here I was in tears and she told me I was her strength, with a smile.
As I sat there in the passenger’s seat my mom looked at me and said, “I want you to know something, I am telling you because we don’t know what is going to happen.” She continued to tell me her plans for what she wanted if things took a turn for the worse. To hear your mother tell you how she wants things handled when she leaves, whether now or later, literally I cannot explain.
I remember when I was in elementary school I would pray before I would go to bed saying that I wanted my parents to live to be 300 years old or calculate how old they would be if I was 100.
I was not about to change my prayer.
This story happens quite often, we fear the unknown. Today Danielle has a Master’s in textile with a great job, married and has a child. Because I chose other methods then conventional, I was able to watch her graduate, watch her get married and watch my grandchild grow up. Just remember you are not alone and there are options that are in the next series and will be explained - INFORMATION FROM THE CANCER CONTROL SOCIETY CONVENTION OF 2017 – INTERNATIONAL TREATMENTS
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Until tomorrow, remember everyone’s time is limited. What matters most is to focus on what matters most. So, today focus on what matters to you.
IN MEMORY OF MY DAD, HAPPY BIRTHDAY